One day I was sitting in my room
Having some cones and drinking some goon
I went to stand but I fell over
Then I realized I wasn’t sober
I put on my pants and had a smoke
Looked at my watch and I was stoked
It was 1 o’clock, time for a nap
Went to sleep with my bong in my lap
I soon sat up and looked at my watch
I spilt the bong water all over my crotch
I yelled out "SHIT" and knocked it away
That fucking bong is going to pay
Went to the can to have a long piss
Flopped it out and prayed I didn’t miss
Whizzed forever, thought I’d never stop
I flushed the can and went for a chop
Oh there’s none left, it’s all looking bleak
I started off with a pound last week
So I went to my dealer’s to buy some dope
I really needed it I just couldn’t cope
I gave the dealer my hard-earned cash
He then gave me my much-needed stash
I went outside with my new fresh snappy
I smelt the goods and I felt happy
So I went for a celebration chop
I started to pull but I saw a cop
“What are you doing?” he asked of me
“Well I’m pulling a cone, can’t ya see?”
Couldn’t make up an explanation
So I went with him down the station
Got put in jail for possession
But the guys in there were having a session
I joined in and we got so fucked
We forgot being in jail sucked
The next day, some one posted bail
So I finally got out of jail
My bud was the one that bailed me
What a good mate, he set me free
We call him Iron Lungs it’s no wonder why
You can’t out-smoke him, I know, I’ve tried
We couldn’t chat, as he had to go
Cos he had a date with some 5 buck hoe
I was so stoned that I couldn’t think
So I went down the pub to have a drink
Had a couple of shots at the bar
was so screwed up, I was like "duh"
They refused to serve me, so I chucked a fit
I called the bartender a stupid git
He said "piss off", so I yelled some more
He lifted and threw me out the door
I stood up in a semi-conscious state
Had to get home, didn’t feel too great
So I started to waddle on home
I got lost and I started to roam
I found a snappy and yelled out “shit!”
There was heaps of fucking speed in it
I finally got home to have a snooze
Slept for 12 hours, then hit then booze
Fuck! I just realised what I forgot!
I have speed and I’ll mix it with pot!
I smoked it all and got fully cranked
Man this is good, being so tanked
I ran around until I fell down
Man that’s funny, I’m such a clown
Managed to get myself down the street
I really needed something to eat
I bought myself a packet of chips
I was so fucked, I couldn’t move my lips
On the way home I fell in a gutter
“I can’t move” I think I muttered
Pretty soon, I got bored being straight
I went next door to that dealer I hate
I can’t stand him, he gives me the shits
Doesn’t matter, he sells good trips
Got a superman trip, this’ll be cool
Only cost 5 bucks, man he’s a fool
I popped the trip and felt it hit me
Fuck man it was spun, I felt so free
Got in the car and went for a drive
Man I’ll be lucky if I survive
Was going thirty down the freeway
I must’ve been there all bloody day
Pulled over and stepped out of my car
I couldn’t at all see very far
I was trippin’ out so fuckin much
That I’ve fully lost the sense of touch
Jumped in front of an oncoming car
The driver said "move" but I said "nah"
"but you’ll bounce off of my chest" I said
Man I was so fucked up in the head
Sure enough, the dickhead ran me down
"It didn’t work" I said with a frown
I was lying on the ground in pain
On top of that, it started to rain
After that shit, I started to shout
The traffic stopped and I passed out
I woke up in a hospital bed
With a damn stabbing pain in my head
I got some pain killers from the nurse
Things didn’t get better, they got worse
Needed to get out of this fucked place
that dickhead doctor, cant stand his face
that nurse though, what a fucking honey
she constantly looked at me funny
theres no chance we could ever hook up
i already know she'll just say "nup"
then after 3 months I came out clean
it was the straightest I'd ever been
so there I was in the dead of night
I wanted to get high as a kite

...still gotta write the rest...
(dont hold your breath)

criticism welcome